Laughing is the Prescribed Medicine for Today! #inspiration #motivation #ThursdayThoughts


laughing

 

Want to feel good? All you have to do is laugh.

 

The stress and exhaustion is at an all-time high for us. It’s the big countdown to our vacation and we’re busier than ever. How do we release our stress? We laugh.

 

When we laugh, we release much-needed endorphins and honestly, it just feels good. Whether it’s a television show, movie, book or even a hilarious news story, we find it funny and laugh. Go ahead and laugh; it’s healthy and natural medicine.

 

MRS N

If You’re a #Tarantino Fan, You’ll Love Chasing Bedlam by @cyallowitz #bookreview #IARTG


Chasing Bedlam

 

Title: Chasing Bedlam

Author: Charles E. Yallowitz

Genre: Black Humor, Satire, Dystopia

 

Book Blurb:

Lloyd and Cassidy’s last adventure was to honor a life. This time they are out to end one.

It was a normal, violent mission to Texas that should have had nothing more than beer-induced hiccups. That is until an old enemy makes off with Cassidy’s jeep and most of their gear. Needless to say, she’s pissed off and challenging Lloyd for the psychopath of the month award. With the mouthy serial killer by her side, she is going on the warpath from Dallas to Miami even if it means declaring war on the drug cartels.

So strap in for another wild ride through the Shattered States and learn why you never mess with Cassidy’s jeep.

 

My Review:

Readers of Patrick deWitt and Joe Abercrombie, not to mention Tarantino: take a ride with me through the Shattered States.

 

Lloyd and Cassidy are back and in this adventure, all bets are off. An old rival has stolen Cassidy’s jeep and now she’s out for blood. It doesn’t matter to her who she has to kill or how many, she’s going to make everyone pay.

 

In the same vein as filmmaker Quintin Tarantino, Yallowitz brilliantly creates a hoard of death, blood and violence all with humorous banter between the characters. Strictly speaking, this is more than dystopian fiction; it’s black humor with bloodshed.

 

The action is swift and the dialogue is nicely peppered throughout so as to not distract too much from the violence. Lloyd and Cassidy are hilarious while the drug gangs are blissfully stupid. All in all, a fun read.

 

I found the bloodbath a bit excessive, at times, but that’s just me.

 

I’m a sucker for a good chapter title and Yallowitz nails these:

Back with a Bang

Child of the Battle Zone

First Sex . . .

. . . Then Violence

Malice on the Mississippi

The City of Beads & Blood

The Cats, The Mouse, & The Monster

Belles of the Homecoming Harvest

Don’t Feed that Puppy!

Nuts!

Attack of the Pricks

Worst Sightseeing Tour Ever

Return of the Old Friend

A Lawsuit Waiting to Happen

Told You I Know a Guy

Debauchery & Dented Skulls

Vengeance with a Side of Chocolate

 

If you like dystopia, action, lots of gunplay, and/or a killer female main character, 1-click Chasing Bedlam today. Your future self will thank you!

 

Disclaimer: I received a copy from the author in the hopes I’d review it.

 

Favorite Character/Quote:

“Now, the distraction’s job is to keep you looking in one direction while a mischievous maiden of mayhem prepares her new toy somewhere else. Don’t bother running, boys, because she’ll take that as an insult.”

 

My Rating:  4 stars

 

Buy it now:

Amazon US https://www.amazon.com/Chasing-Bedlam-Shattered-States-Book-ebook/dp/B06X8ZCGG5

Amazon CA https://www.amazon.ca/Chasing-Bedlam-Shattered-States-Book-ebook/dp/B06X8ZCGG5

Amazon UK https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chasing-Bedlam-Shattered-States-Book-ebook/dp/B06X8ZCGG5

Goodreads https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34236934-chasing-bedlam

 

Author Biography:

Charles Yallowitz was born and raised on Long Island, NY, but he has spent most of his life wandering his own imagination in a blissful haze. Occasionally, he would return from this world for the necessities such as food, showers, and Saturday morning cartoons. One day he returned from his imagination and decided he would share his stories with the world. After his wife decided that she was tired of hearing the same stories repeatedly, she convinced him that it would make more sense to follow his dream of being a fantasy author. So, locked within the house under orders to shut up and get to work, Charles brings you Legends of Windemere. He looks forward to sharing all of his stories with you, and his wife is happy he finally has someone else to play with.

 

Social Media Links:

Blog: www.legendsofwindemere.com
Twitter: @cyallowitz
Facebook: Charles Yallowitz
Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com

 

Reviewed by: Mrs. N

Online Friends: A Powerful Love #inspiration #love #friendship


febraury-love-month-graphic

 

“I dislike the phrase ‘Internet friends,’ because it implies that people you know online aren’t really your friends, that somehow the friendship is less real or meaningful to you because it happens through Skype or text messages. The measure of a friendship is not its physicality but its significance.” ― John Green, This Star Won’t Go Out: The Life and Words of Esther Grace Earl

 

I thank God every day for my online friends. They’re more dependable, caring and loving than my some of my own family and friends.

 

I have a great circle of online friends. They’re there to support me in times of need and celebrate with me in times of triumph. I know I can depend on them through thick and thin, no matter what. It doesn’t matter that they live thousands of miles away or that they speak a different language.

 

Friends, whether they are “real” or “online”, are one of life’s greatest joys. We smile when we see a message from them and whatever is happening takes a backseat. We share something funny, sad or meaningful. We ask for advice or give it when needed. We congratulate when something positive happens and offer hugs when something bad happens. Our online friends, through the power of social media, provide love and it’s simply wonderful.

 

There’s so many amazing people out there who hold a special place in my heart. I thank you all for showing me the power of positive thinking and love. Without you, my life would be miserable. I’m so grateful!

 

A laugh to make your day: http://www.boredpanda.com/catnip-wine-for-cats-apollo-peak/

 

Send a message to all your online friends today and tell them how much they mean to you! Share a laugh, like I did above. lol!

 

MRS N

Strange History Will Make You Laugh + You’ll Learn Stuff! #bookreview #history


Strange History

Title: Strange History

Author: Bathroom Readers’ Institute

Genre: history, humor

 

Book Blurb:

This exciting title from the folks at the Bathroom Readers’ Institute contains the strangest short history articles from over 30 Bathroom Readers—along with 50 all-new pages. From the 20th century to the Old West, from the Age of Enlightenment to the Dark Ages, from ancient cultures all the way back to the dawn of time, Strange History is overflowing with mysterious artifacts, macabre legends, kooky inventions, reality-challenged rulers, boneheaded blunders, and mind-blowing facts. Read about…

 

*The curse of Macbeth

*Stupid history: Hollywood style

*The secret LSD experiments of the 1960s

*In search of the lost “Cloud People” of Peru

*The Swedish queen who declared war on fleas

*Unearthing the past with the Outhouse Detectives

*The Apollo astronaut who swears he saw a UFO

*How to brew a batch of 5,000-year-old beer

*The brutal bloodbaths at Rome’s Coliseum

*Ghostly soup from ancient China

*The bathroom of the 1970s

 

And much, much more!
 

My Review:

I was never one to like history class in school. In fact, I found it to be quite boring. I was a creative child and my mind drew a blank every time the teacher called on me. But if I had read this book, I might’ve paid more attention.

 

From those hysterical people who bring you Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers (my grandfather’s favorite books), comes Strange History. Filled with fascinating facts, people and events, this is a fabulous collection of history. From ancient history to the present, you’ll learn things they never taught you in school. With over 400 pages, it’s a must-read! Reading in the washroom is optional.

 

Thank you to Printers Row Publishing Group and Netgalley for giving me a complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review.

 

My Rating:  5 stars

 

Buy it now:

Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Strange-History-Bathroom-Readers-Institute/dp/1626865833

Goodreads https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29987766-strange-history

 

Author Biography:

The Bathroom Readers’ Institute is a tight-knit group of loyal and skilled writers, researchers, and editors who have been working as a team for years. The BRI understands the habits of a very special market—Throne Sitters—and devotes itself to providing amazing facts and conversation pieces. They are based in Ashland, Oregon, and San Diego, California.

 

Social Media Links:

Website http://www.bathroomreader.com/

Twitter https://twitter.com/bathroom_reader

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/UncleJohnsBathroomReader

 

Reviewed by: Mrs. N

Bring Your Own Baker by @DenaEHaggerty is NOT Your Mom’s #CozyMystery! #RRBC


 BYOBCV

 

Title: Bring Your Own Baker

Book Series: Death by Cupcake, Book 2

Genre: Cozy Mystery, Humor

Published: June 20, 2016

Word count: 49,000

 

Synopsis:

Anna just wants to earn enough money on the side to buy into the bakery, Callie’s Cakes, where she works together with her best nerd pal Callie. The last thing she expects to see when she walks into Arthur’s apartment to do some moonlighting is a blood bath. Callie’s ready to jump into the investigation into Arthur’s murder, and she’s bringing another bakery worker, Kristie, into their hijinks whether Kristie wants to or not. But things aren’t as they seem. There are gang affiliations, illegal gambling dens, and ladies of the night to wade through. Will Anna and Callie discover who murdered Arthur or will Callie’s detective boyfriend and Anna’s self-appointed protector put a stop to such aspirations?

 

Come join us at Callie’s Cakes, where murder investigations are on the menu, but make sure to bring your own baker, because Anna’s a bit preoccupied at the moment.

 

Warning: This is NOT your mom’s cozy mystery. Bring Your Own Baker may be a ‘clean’ read, but if gangs, illegal gambling, and pimps make you turn your nose up at your e-reader, you might want to skip this one. Although you’ll be missing some sizzling chemistry between Anna and her protector. Not to mention a whole bunch of witty dialogue.

 

Excerpt:

“Apparently, I’m smart and could take over Arthur’s ‘position’. Oh, and I’m beautiful.” I snort again because really? The bookie must be in dire need of someone to play poker for him if he’s calling me beautiful.

 

“You are beautiful,” Logan whispers. Before I can snort again, he places a hand over my nose and mouth. “Baby, how can you not know you’re beautiful?”

 

My eyes widen at his question. “You’re serious?” At his nod, I continue. “Because I’m a pink-haired pixie. No one thinks a pixie’s beautiful.”

 

Logan’s grin is wicked. “I always thought Tinker Bell was hot.”

 

I huff. “Tinker Bell’s a fairy, not a pixie.”

 

“Pixie, fairy, whatever.” He shrugs. “Hot,” he mumbles as his lips find mine. He wastes no time in sticking his tongue down my throat but then abruptly stops. He licks his lips. “Have you been drinking?”

 

“Vodka.” I nod.

 

“Vodka doesn’t taste like coconut.”

 

“It does if it comes out of my freezer,” I tell him with no uncertainty.

 

He rolls his eyes at me. “You’re a nut.”

 

“Technically coconut is a fruit, not a nut,” I clarify.

 

Buy Links:

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Bring-Your-Baker-Death-Cupcake-ebook/dp/B01FJVGWXI

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/636073

Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bring-your-own-baker-de-haggerty/1123795411?ean=2940153018690

Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/bring-your-own-baker

 

 Dena Haggerty

 

Author Bio:

I grew up reading everything I could get my hands on from my mom’s Harlequin romances to Nancy Drew to Little Women. When I wasn’t flipping pages in a library book, I was penning horrendous poems, writing songs no one should ever sing, or drafting stories which have thankfully been destroyed. College and a stint in the U.S. Army came along, robbing me of free time to write and read, although I did manage every once in a while to sneak a book into my rucksack between rolled up socks, MRIs, t-shirts, and cold weather gear. A few years into my legal career, I was exhausted, fed up, and just plain done. I quit my job and sat down to write a manuscript, which I promptly hid in the attic after returning to the law. Another job change, this time from lawyer to B&B owner and I was again fed up and ready to scream I quit, which is incredibly difficult when you own the business. Thus, I shut the B&B during the week and in the off-season and started writing. Several books later I find myself in Istanbul writing full-time.

 

Author Links:

Website: http://dehaggerty.wordpress.com

 

Blog: https://dehaggerty.wordpress.com/category/mymusings/

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dehaggerty

 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/denaehaggerty

 

Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+DEHaggerty/posts

 

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/denahaggerty/

 

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7210211.D_E_Haggerty

 

Amazon author page: http://www.amazon.com/D.E.-Haggerty/e/B00ECQBURU/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_5?qid=1438239628&sr=8-5

 

Email: dena@dehaggerty.com

 

Pete’s Mighty Purty Privies by @AubreyWynne51 is Hilarious! #bookreview #fiction #humor


Pete's Privy cover

 

Title: Pete’s Mighty Purty Privies

Author: Aubrey Wynne

Genre: Humor/ Fiction

 

Book Blurb:

Pete McNutt needs customers for his new business. Spring has arrived and it’s prime time Privy Season. After much consideration, he refines his sales pitch and heads to the monthly meeting of the Women’s Library Association.

 

My Review:

I haven’t read many short stories in stand-alone fashion but that doesn’t diminish that this is the best one I have ever read!  It is laugh out loud funny!

 

I disturbed a corporate lunch room with my guffaws while reading the issues that revolve around finding a decent place to do your business in rural America in the late 19th century.  Hilarious and light hearted.  Beautifully written.  Characters are well developed in just a few lines.

 

The author has a gift for clarity and humor and I can’t recommend this short story enough.  Hilarious!  Brilliant!

 

My Rating:  5+ stars

 

Buy it now:

Amazon: http://amzn.to/23WggAf

 

iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1097412593

 

Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/1rrokxh

 

Kobo: http://bit.ly/1rrokxh

 

Aubrey Wynne

 

Author Biography:

Bestselling and award-winning author Aubrey Wynne resides in the Midwest with her husband, dogs, horses, mule, and barn cats. She is elementary teacher by trade, champion of children and animals by conscience, and author by choice.

 

Her short stories Merry Christmas, Henry and Pete’s Mighty Purty Privies won the Preditors & Editors Readers Choice awards in 2014 and 2015. Dante’s Gift received the 2016 Golden Quill award. Aubrey’s first love is historical romance and her series vintage love stories will be released in late 2016. The medieval fantasy series, A Medieval Encounter, will come out in 2017.

 

Social Media Links:

Facebook: http://www/facebook.com/magnificentvalor

 

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Aubreywynne51

 

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/aubreywynne51

 

Website: http://www.aubreywynneauthor.com/

 

Reviewed by: Mr. N

Laughter is Cheap Medicine #inspiration #laughter #healthyliving


laugh

When was the last time you laughed?  An hour ago?  Yesterday?  Last week?  Last month?

If you don’t remember, then it has been too long!

Laughing is one of the best ways to reduce stress, be healthy and live a happy life.  I love to laugh and I must confess, Twitter is a fabulous place to laugh!  I have a group of friends who I love to laugh with!  We try to outdo each other with funny and comical pics!

So on this holiday (Shrove/Pancake Tuesday), let’s find ways to laugh!

No matter if it is a movie, television show, comedy club or any number of social media outlets…take a moment and laugh!  Your heart, mind and soul will thank you and you will burn 10-40 calories simply by laughing! WHOO HOO!

MRS N, the Laugher 😀

Chill Out by @JanaRichards_ #BookPromo #Romance #TWRP


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Title: Chill Out

Author: Jana Richards

Genre: Contemporary Romance

 

Publisher: The Wild Rose Press, the Candy Hearts Valentine’s series

 

Release Date: January 4, 2016

 

Blurb:

Renata Cabral needs to hide for the weekend. Her cousin’s Valentine’s Day wedding means she’ll face embarrassing questions from her large, extended family. Questions like “Why aren’t you married yet?”  Since the breakup of her last relationship, she’s not ready to answer that question. She invents a work-related excuse and escapes to a friend’s lakeside cottage.

Noah Brownlee has been hiding for two years. But now he’s ready to come home and mend his broken relationship with his brother. When a friend offers the use of his lakeside cottage, Noah arrives in the middle of a blizzard with his English Mastiff, only to find the place is already occupied. With her big brown eyes and quirky sense of humor, Renata stirs feelings he thought long dead.

As the blizzard rages, the candy hearts predict love. Can Valentine’s Day work its magic between them?

Excerpt:

“Dylan wasn’t just my brother, he was my best friend, and in some ways, he was like a father. When our mother died, he petitioned the court to make him my legal guardian so I wouldn’t have to go into care. He made sure I studied, pushed me to apply to med school, helped me with expenses.”

“He sounds like a wonderful big brother.”

His lips curved in a sad smile and Renata’s heart ached for him. “He was, and I know he’s going to be an amazing father. I want this animosity between us to end. I want my brother back.” His voice cracked. “But I’m not sure he feels the same way. I said some ugly things…”

“Perhaps, with the baby coming, he wants to mend the rift between you as much as you do.” She hoped she was right.

“Maybe. I’ll find out tomorrow. I’m going to phone Dylan and try to arrange a meeting.”

“It’ll work out. You’ll see.”

He leaned toward her, the corners of his eyes wrinkling with his smile. “I appreciate the pep rally.”

“Well, I was a cheerleader in high school. Rah, Rah.”

He laughed softly, then cupped her face with his hand, his thumb idly stroking her cheek. Her breath hitched at his tender touch. “Thank you for making this easier for me, Renata.”

He leaned in and her heart pounded in anticipation of his kiss. When his lips touched hers, a firestorm of longing ignited inside her. She strained toward him, needing his kiss, needing to heal his pain. His lips parted against hers, and she opened her mouth eagerly, reveling in his taste as his tongue danced with hers. The world faded away, and nothing existed for her except this man and all the tenderness she felt for him. It felt so right to kiss him, so perfectly, completely right.

Buy Links:

The Wild Rose Press: http://www.wildrosepublishing.com/maincatalog_v151/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=195&products_id=6576

Amazon US: http://www.amazon.com/Chill-Out-Candy-Hearts-Romance-ebook/dp/B018L29ZUY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1448638397&sr=8-1&keywords=chill+out+by+Jana+Richards

Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Chill-Out-Candy-Hearts-Romance-ebook/dp/B018L29ZUY/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1448816748&sr=1-1&keywords=Chill+Out+%2B+Jana+richards

Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-ca/ebook/chill-out-2

All Romance Ebooks: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-chillout-1937524-149.html

Chapters/Indigo: https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/home/search/?keywords=Chill%20Out%20%2B%20Jana%20richards

Bookstrand: http://www.bookstrand.com/chill-out

Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/chill-out-jana-richards/1123056320?ean=2940157672843

Jana Richards

Author Biography:

When Jana Richards read her first romance novel, she immediately knew two things: she had to commit the stories running through her head to paper, and they had to end with a happily ever after. She also knew she’d found what she was meant to do. Since then she’s never met a romance genre she didn’t like. She writes contemporary romance, romantic suspense, and historical romance set in World War Two, in lengths ranging from short story to full length novel. Just for fun, she throws in generous helpings of humor, and the occasional dash of the paranormal. Her paranormal romantic suspense “Seeing Things” was a 2008 EPPIE finalist.

In her life away from writing, Jana is an accountant/admin assistant, a mother to two grown daughters, and a wife to her husband Warren. She enjoys golf, yoga, movies, concerts, travel and reading, not necessarily in that order. She and her husband live in Winnipeg, Canada with their Pug/Terrier cross Lou and several unnamed goldfish. She loves to hear from readers and can be reached through her website at www.janarichards.com

 

Social Media Links:

Website:  http://www.janarichards.com

Blog:  http://janarichards.blogspot.com

Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/JanaRichardsAuthor

Twitter:  http://www.twitter.com/JanaRichards_

Amazon Author Page:  http://www.amazon.com/author/janarichards

Newsletter Signup: http://www.eepurl.com/m3UnT

Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/2892274Jana_Richards

Google+ Profile:  https://plus.google.com/100820406211390323245

 

 

It Pays to be a Wise-Ass: Guest Post by Jeff Lee #books @jfredlee #amwriting


 

It pays to be a wise-ass.

 

A little while ago, I was being interviewed for an article to run on a news blog serving the Northern California suburb where I grew up. The article was about local kids who’d gone on to do something with their lives, and the interviewer wanted to know what was it that separated me from most other writers.

 

“Two things,” I answered. “One, I’ve been writing professionally for more than forty years. And B, I’m an inveterate wise-ass.”

 

In my case, the two overlapped beautifully.

 

A couple of years ago, I retired from a career in advertising. And just so you know, it was light years away from Bewitched. Spent four decades writing ads, commercials, billboards, brochures and what-have-you. For everything from cars and motorcycles to Mexican Restaurant chains, airlines, toys, and heavy equipment manufactures. Even helped a successful, socially challenged Seattle businessman advertise for his future Mrs. wealthy recluse.

 

All of which was done under insane deadlines and then pitched to clients who couldn’t wrap their brains around why they needed to spend money advertising in the first place. Let alone laying out good funds to run stuff that was patently silly.

 

Like an ad for an imported line of ATV’s, showing a rider at night in driving rain, on his little 4-wheel, slogging through a seriously mud choked field, beneath a bold-type headline that read, “Take it where the sun don’t shine.”

 

Or an ad for a company that makes those little mini bulldozers you see on construction sites. The ad had to talk about how tough, rugged, economical and dependable these mini-dozers were. And it had to speak to cement and concrete contractors, since it was running in their industry’s trade magazines. Best of all, it was due yesterday. What the hell do you do? You grab some photos showing one of these little machines zipping around with tons of wet cement in its bucket. Under which, the headline says, “Enough to make any concrete guy good and hard.”

 

Or an in-store banner for a line of imported dirt bikes, whose manufacturer supported this segment of the motorcycle market with a little free factory-sponsored tech support for amateurs racing their particular bikes in the dirt. No visual this time. Just a huge banner hung in dealerships around the country. Picture an all black background, with huge, dayglo green letters, proclaiming, “You gotta be nuts to moto without a good supporter.”

 

The whole thing taught me how to work under the pressure of a deadline.

 

And how to be funny as hell, on command.

 

And most importantly, how to be fearless as a writer.

 

If you can put words on paper in a way that tells a story about characters the reader can come to know and care about, you’ve got a brain.

 

If you can do that AND make your reader laugh out loud from time to time, you’ve got a sense of humor.

 

And if you can accomplish all of that without worrying about what your great Aunt Sylvia’s going to say; or what your BFFs think about it; or the reviewer for the local paper (who hasn’t liked anything printed since Gutenberg), then kiddo, you’ve got a spine.

 

Ultimately, there’s only one person on the planet your writing has to please.

 

And you look them square in the eye every morning while you’re flossing.

 

Take a look at the sample included here, and see what I mean.

 

Trust me, I’m really pleased with this hunk of writing.

 

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Title: Chump Change

Author: Jeff Lee

Genre:   Humor, Comedy, Crime, Murder, Mystery

 

Book Blurb:

You think being the Bounty Hunter and Repo Guy to the Stars is easy? Just talk to “Fish” Fishbein. If he isn’t trying to round up a heavily lubricated ex-rocker, he’s flying down the freeway in a repoed Wiener Mobile, chased by the pistol-packing deadbeat who owns it.

A bail bondsman hires him to track down a crew of unwise guys who blew off their court date to snatch L.A.’s monthly parking meter take — 300 grand in quarters. Then they start dropping like flies. And Fish has to catch the killer.

Maybe it’s the city’s armed and dangerous Parking Meter Czar. Or his brother-in-law, a corrupt televangelist who needs some serious coin to bankroll his foray into Bible-based porn. Or the Rev’s wife and co-minister, who’s several clicks beyond crazy about toddler beauty pageants. Or, it just might be the defrocked talent agent who’s dying to make Fish a reality TV star.

With more than seven tons of quarters at stake, bodies are dropping faster than turn-downs on America’s Got Talent. And if Fish and his hog-riding buds, Kenny and Einstein, don’t nab the killer in a hurry, they could get eliminated themselves.

   Chump Change is author Jeff Lee’s third book in his Adventures in La-La Land series, following The Ladies Temperance Club’s Farewell Tour and Hair of the Dog. If you enjoy the whacko characters, situations and fast pace that Janet Evanovich, Carl Hiaasen and Elmore Leonard bring to the party, check out all of Fish Fishbein’s big adventures.

 

WARNING: Contains some of the most hysterical explicit sex scenes ever written. 

 

Exclusive Excerpt:

This is a scene from my most recent book, Chump Change, a fast-paced, hysterical mystery that pokes a ton of satirical fun at the L.A. life, crime, murder, sex, porn and the entertainment industry. “Fish” Fishbein, the book’s main character, has just repoed a restored old Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile, and is being chased by the pistol-packing deadbeat who owns it.

 

“Fish checked the outside mirror on his side of the Weiner Mobile and everything looked pretty normal.

 

The San Diego Freeway was its usual congested mess for this, or any other time of day.

Except for one ancient, thrashed looking beater, a disco-era Caddy, headed in the same direction as the Weiner Mobile.

 

And in one a hell of a hurry.

 

It was only about a hundred yards behind him and closing fast.

 

Passing slowly under the Sunset Boulevard overpass, he watched the back window on the old Caddy’s passenger side roll down.

 

Now the top half of a really husky looking guy in a satin N.Y. Giants fashion statement was fighting to lean out of the opening.

 

Fish kept his eye on the old car as the rear seat passenger reached back in and brought out a pistol big enough to snuff a grizzly.

 

Or at least make it reconsider a life choice or two.

 

Then he saw the guy’s gun hand jerk skyward and almost instantly, a pair of huge ventilation holes opened up in the rear and front of the Weiner Mobile.

 

“Gun!” Fish shouted. “Everybody on the floor! This crazy son of a bitch is shooting at us!”

 

He yanked his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed 911.

 

“L.A. County 911. What’s the nature of your emergency?”

 

“The nature of my emergency?”

 

Most times, Fish had a problem trying to keep his inner wise-ass from coming out to play.

 

Like now.

 

“Yeah, I’m trying to win on Wheel of Fortune, only Vanna won’t sell me any freakin’ vowels.”

 

Like most federal, state and county employees, Fish’s 911 operator was required by law to check her sense of humor at the door when she clocked in for her shift that morning.

 

“Sir, are you aware of the penalty for making a false 911 call in California?”

 

“Look, my name’s Morris Fishbein. I’m a repo guy and I’m headed North on the San Diego Freeway, about half a mile past Sunset,” he blurted into the phone.

 

“I’m in a vehicle I just repossessed. The deadbeat owner and some of his friends are right behind me. And one of them just took a freakin’ shot at us!”

 

“Can you describe your vehicle?”

 

“Yeah, it’s a restored old Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile with personalized plates that read MEAT MAN. The whole thing’s painted tan and yellow and it looks like a giant hot dog.”

 

“Tan and yellow, sir?”

 

“Just picture a thirty-foot-long penis on rye.”

 

Buy Links:

Amazon link: http://amzn.to/1KEN8U3

 

Jeff Lee

 

Author Biography:

Born near New York City and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area, Jeff Lee has spent his entire writing career in Los Angeles. For more than 35 years, he has been a copywriter, producer and creative director for some of the advertising industry’s most recognizable agencies, winning numerous awards for his creativity and wise-ass sense of humor. Typical for his industry, none of those ad agencies are still in business, but Jeff appears to have pretty solid alibis for the deaths of each one.

Retired from advertising, Jeff now spends his time on his own writing, having produced four novels – The Ladies Temperance Club’s Farewell Tour, Hair of the Dog, Chump Change and Bird Boy. Each of these books debuted to rave reviews, garnering all 4 and 5-star reviews.

Trained as a cook in the Army, he still enjoys being creative in the kitchen, and admits that few things in life compare with the thrill of discovering you’ve just given a nasty case of food poisoning to 140 heavily-armed troops.

 

Social Media Links:

FB Author Page: on.fb.me/1QPczqQ

Website: bit.ly/1uHEmSo

Twitter: @jfredlee

Goodreads: bit.ly/1MCCM8p

 

Like Humor in Your #Books? Meet Andrew Snook #authorinterview #books @A_Snook


Have you always liked to write?

 Yes, although I forgot how much I enjoyed it for a long time. One of my favourite activities growing up was writing silly short adventure stories that starred my classmates. At one point when I was 13, I even made a board game complete with a 20-pg. instruction manual that was based on a series of stories I wrote during out creative writing classes. I stopped writing fiction for a little over a decade before picking it back up while living alone in Nova Scotia in my mid-20s. It was there a rekindled my passion for writing and created two rough novellas. Those novellas formed the skeleton for Remy’s Dilemma.

What writing advice do you have for other aspiring authors?

 If you want to get your book finished put every other hobby you enjoy on hold – unless you have oodles of free time, then by all means have at them! I am married to an amazing woman and we have two beautiful children, but balancing my days between spending quality time with my wife and my kids, working full-time and taking care of our home doesn’t leave a lot of time for writing and editing books, let alone all the other factors that are involved in the book publishing process when you are an independent – marketing, sourcing production, website maintenance, etc. To complete my first book from beginning to end, I would wake up when everyone else was asleep (usually 5 or 6 a.m.) on my days off and get a few hours of writing and editing in, or I would write while I was on the road for work during my free time. Utilizing every spare minute I had was the only way I could complete the book, and I imagine there are a lot of people in similar situations.

If you didn’t like writing books, what would you do for a living?

 Writing novels would definitely be my dream job. But if I had to choose a back-up dream job, it would probably be designing board games.

 

What is your least favorite part of the publishing /writing process?

 Sales and marketing, but it’s got to be done.

 

Do you have a favorite spot to write? What is it?

I prefer to write on the road, preferably on trains. There’s something about riding the rails that gets my creativity flowing. I would love to ride a train across Canada, banging away on my keyboard while taking in all the beautiful scenery the country has to offer.

Do you write naked?

Only when I’m not wearing any clothes.

Do you drink? Smoke? What’s your vice?

Coffee, coffee and more coffee. I smoked for about a decade and found that easier to give up then my sweet, sweet coffee. Love you, baby!

What do you want your tombstone to say?

Room for rent.

What secret talents do you have?

You’d have to ask my wife. Giggity-giggity! On second thought, she might not agree. Let’s forget about asking her and just take my word for it. Next question!

Do you have any scars? What are they from?

A bunch. I have 13 stitches on my left cheek from walking into swing made from welded metal pipes as a child. I also have a scar on my right palm from cutting it while packing metal rods for an oven factory in my early 20s and another on my left hand from accidently getting a Christmas tree light stuck in my hand as a teenager – that one was messy!

Remy'sDilemma_AndrewSnook copy

Book Title: Remy’s Dilemma

Author: Andrew Snook

Genre: Adventure/Humour, Canadian

 

Book Blurb:

The world is coming to an end. That’s what Remy Dilemma believes, anyways. While double-checking his lifelong to-do list to ensure he has led a rich life, he realizes he hasn’t come close to completing his goals. Panicked and short on time, Remy embarks on a chaotic road trip to complete the most important item on his bucket list – finding the answer to man’s greatest question. There’s just one problem. Detective Tobias Gray, the most respected criminal profiler in the Toronto Police Department, thinks Remy is a serial killer; and he’s not the only one who has come to that conclusion. Armed with a green crayon, smiley-faced stamp and a pack of cigarettes in a race against time, the story’s main character, Remy, carves a path of hilarious destruction, baffling and infuriating the police, his government and every other person he encounters.

Exclusive Excerpt:

It started with a dream, or at least what I thought was a dream. I know now it was a premonition, a sneak peek into the destruction of my world. It appeared in the form of a powerful whisper across the airwaves. The voice, humanity’s reaper, was hidden deep inside the hollowed belly of a rocky beast in Colorado. As it spoke, our time on this planet was given an expiration date.

“My fellow Glamericans, we are under attack from the terrorist organization known as Nations Against Glomitrox. Several nations with direct ties to N.A.G. have begun fuelling weapons of mass destruction, which they intend to fire on our country if I do not surrender myself for alleged crimes against humanity. Do not believe their propaganda.

“Our nuclear strikes on Paris, Moscow, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Berlin and Rome were pre-emptive strikes meant to protect the Glamerican people. We were completely within our rights to defend our homeland — especially after the underhanded assault on the City of Regina by unknown assailants that claimed thousands of lives. This unwarranted aggression will not go unchecked.

“Any nation that supports the terrorist activities of N.A.G. should consider this broadcast a final warning. Glamerica demands that all countries cease any plans for hostile actions against our fine state, or we will have no choice but to launch a full nuclear strike on all non-Glamerican soil.

“Any Glamericans trained on how to survive a nuclear strike are to go door-to-door immediately and show their fellow citizens how to properly hide under a desk.

“This is Prime Minister Harper Day signing off. Good night and Glam bless.”

I sat up and sprang from my bed, drenched in perspiration from the combination of my dream and the hot, humid July night. My chest felt tight, making it hard to breathe. My heart was racing. I ran outside onto my balcony for some fresh air. Pulling a cigarette from a pack of Cats that had been sitting on my windowsill, I took a few puffs and began to calm down.

I took a moment to check out my view of Mississauga’s east end, which was comprised of nothing but other old, run-down highrise apartment buildings and abandoned factories. This area of the city has seen better days.

Remembering my dream, I snapped back into a panic, dropped my cigarette, and ran to my bedroom closet…

 

Buy Links:

 Amazon Kindle:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VLIH45E/?tag=friesenpressc-20

Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-CA/ebook/remy-s-dilemma-1

iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/remys-dilemma/id983046558?mt=11

Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/search?q=9781460262771&c=books

Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Remy’s%20Dilemma%22-FriesenPress?store=ebook

FriesenPress (best deal for print version):http://www.friesenpress.com/bookstore/title/119734000015221192/Andrew-Snook-Remy%27s-Dilemma

Author photo

Author Biography:

Age: 37

Born in Montreal, Quebec. Currently living in Mississauga, Ontario. Also lived in Wolfville, Nova Scotia, Carleton Place, Ontario, and Kanata, Ontario. Married with two children.

 

Social Media Links:

Author website and blog: www.snookbooks.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/a_snook @a_snook

Happy Friday the 13th Everyone!!! #humor #inspiration #superstitions


top-friday-the-13th-jokes-quotes-3

Happy Friday the 13th everyone!

Many people don’t like today and feel very superstitious. For fun, I thought I’d list good and bad luck superstitions:

A List Of Good Luck And Bad Luck Superstitions

(Courtesy of http://www.oldsuperstitions.com/ )

  • 13: An unlucky number
  • 3: a lucky number that signifies strength because of the Trinity
  • 666: The Devil’s number, bad luck
  • 7: a lucky number
  • A bird that comes in your window brings bad luck
  • A bride should be carried through the door of their new home for good luck.
  • a buckeye in your pocket is good luck
  • A cat has nine lives A cat will try to take the breath from a baby
  • A cricket in your house is good luck.
  • A dog howling at night when someone in the house is sick is a bad omen.
  • A drowned woman floats face up, a drowned man floats face down
  • A forked branch, held with a fork in each hand, will dip and point when it passes over water
  • A groom seeing the bride before the wedding is supposed to be bad luck.
  • A horseshoe hung in the bedroom will keep nightmares away.
  • A lock of hair from a baby’s first haircut should be kept for good luck
  • A peculiar noise heard three times in succession at night, means someone will die.
  • A person cannot drown before going under three times
  • A rabbit’s foot brings good luck
  • A ring around the moon means that rain will come in three days.
  • A sailor wearing an earring cannot drown
  • A shark pursuing a ship means bad luck, especially if there are sick people onboard.
  • a small new potato in your pocket will help with arthritis
  • A squat bottle with nails, broken glass or anything sharp should be placed in a wall or attic of a new house. This gives witches a pain in the womb should they approach.
  • After receiving a container of food, the container should never be returned empty
  • Always say “so long” or “I’ll see you later”, and never “goodbye”, when leaving family members or you might never see them again.
  • An acorn at the window can keep lightning out of the house
  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away
  • An itchy palm means money will come your way
  • Ancient roman soldiers often observed ants. If the ants were fighting, it meant the enemy was near.
  • Animals can talk at midnight on Christmas Eve
  • At midnight on Christmas Eve, all the animal can talk for a min.
  • At the end of a rainbow is a pot of gold
  • Baseball: “Statting” a player by mentioning his excellent statistics in this situation is seen to jinx that player.
  • Baseball: A lucky bat or glove.
  • Baseball: Chewing only three wads of gum per game
  • Baseball: Drawing in the batter’s box before each at-bat
  • Baseball: If a batter is hit by a pitch, they should not rub or touch the spot of impact
  • Baseball: Not shaving after the first postseason win
  • Baseball: Not stepping on the foul line when taking the field.
  • Baseball: Not talking about a no-hitter or perfect game in progress
  • Baseball: Not talking about the outcome of a 7 game series before it is over.
  • Baseball: Tapping one’s bat onto the home plate before an at-bat
  • Before getting married, it is bad luck to buy your significant other a watch, as it symbolizes that the time of the relationship is running out.
  • Cabbage or black eyed peas on New years with some change in your pocket means all your needs (not wants) will be met during the that year
  • Cats go crazy when a death occurs in their environment and consequently are kept out of the house on such occasions.
  • Clothes worn inside out will bring good luck
  • Cold hands, warm heart
  • Cover mirrors during thunderstorms to prevent lightning coming in to the house.
  • Crossing your fingers helps to avoid bad luck and helps a wish come true
  • Don’t break a mirror
  • Don’t cut down a hawthorn tree or the fey will be angry
  • Don’t kill spiders
  • Don’t let a black cat cross your path.
  • Don’t let moonlight shine on your washing, or they’ll be the clothes for a funeral
  • Don’t marry in may
  • Don’t open an umbrella inside – it is unlucky.
  • Don’t put new shoes on the table
  • Dont put shoes on a table or counter
  • Don’t step on a crack
  • Don’t sweep dirt out the front door after the sun goes down or bad luck will come to your home.
  • Don’t sweep over anyones feet
  • Don’t walk under a ladder
  • Dream of a birth, someone will soon die. Dream of a death, a baby is coming.
  • Dream the same thing 3 times, it will come true.
  • Eating fish makes you smart
  • Evil spirits cannot harm you when you are standing in a circle
  • Find a penny pick it up but only if it faces heads up & you will have a day of good luck
  • For good luck, wear new clothes on Easter
  • Four leaf clover is good luck
  • Friday the thirteenth is an unlucky day
  • Garlic protects from evil spirits and vampires
  • Goldfish in the house bring bad luck
  • Goldfish in the pond bring good luck
  • Hold your breath as you past a graveyard, or you may loose your soul.
  • If a bird flies into your house a death will occur.
  • If a black cat crosses your path you will have bad luck
  • If a black cat crosses your path, bad stuff will happen.
  • If a flying bird hits your window and dies, someone will soon die.
  • If all of the biscuits were gone before the next day, the weather would be fair.
  • If all the food on the table is eaten it will be a clear day tomorrow.
  • If an important object from someone cracks, it’s a bad omen for them.
  • If bird poop lands on you, it is good luck.
  • If one has a realistic bad dream, the next morning breakfast must be eaten before the dream can be mentioned or discussed. Otherwise, the bad dream will come true.
  • If salt is borrowed from anyone, pay it back with sugar or bad luck will come to you.
  • If the bottom of your feet itch, you will make a trip
  • If the groom sees her in her wedding dress before the wedding is also considered bad luck and is believed to lead to an unhappy marriage.
  • If two forks are laid at a plate with no knife you will be invited to a wedding.
  • If you answer a witches question, she can take something from you.
  • If you blow out all of the candles on your birthday cake with the first breath you will get whatever you wish for.
  • If you break a mirror, seven years of bad luck will follow.
  • If you carry a hoe, spade, or shovel in the house, you must carry it out the same door you came in by, or a death will follow.
  • If you catch a falling leaf on the first day of autumn you will not catch a cold all winter.
  • If you count the number of rigs in a funeral procession you will soon have a death in your own family.
  • If you cut your hair or fingernails at night, ghosts will come around.
  • If you drop a dish towel on the floor, a worse housekeeper than yourself is coming to visit you.
  • If you drop a fork, a man will come to visit you.
  • If you drop a piece of silverware someone is coming from the direction it is pointing
  • If you drop spoon, a woman will come to visit you.
  • if you hold a toad & it pees on you you will get a wart
  • If you live someplace where you usaully don’t hear a train whistle, and suddenly hear it, the weather is getting ready to change.
  • If you pee in the road you will get a sty in your eye
  • If you see a black spider a stranger coming
  • If you shiver, someone is casting a shadow on your grave
  • If you smash a mirror, you have 7 years of bad luck.
  • If you sneeze cover your mouth so your soul doesn’t fall out
  • If you spill some salt, pick some of it up and throw it over your left shoulder to stop bad luck from coming.
  • If you start to go somewhere and come back for something you will have bad luck.
  • If you sweep under a person’s feet, that person will never get married.
  • If you turn three times in a circle in a dark room lighted by candles and say Bloody Mary the whole time you will call her spirit to you.
  • If you walk beneath a ladder, you have several years of bad luck.
  • If you wash on the last friday of the year you wash out one of your family members.
  • If your ear begins to itch or burn someone is talking about you
  • If your index finger itches you should go play the lottery
  • If your nose itches someones coming that you know
  • It is bad luck to chase someone with a broom
  • It is bad luck to put new shoes on a bed (or a table).
  • It is bad luck to sing at the table
  • It is bad luck to sleep on a table
  • It is good luck to eat black eyed peas on New Year’s Day.
  • It is unlucky to rock an empty rocking chair
  • It’s bad luck to leave a house through a different door than the one used to come into it.
  • Keep a shallow bowl of water at your kitchen window so keep out evil coming in thru the glass. Evil cannot cross over water.
  • Keep garlic hanging in the doorway of your kitchen to keep out all people who wish you harm.
  • killing a cricket is bad luck
  • Leaving a dwelling from a door different from the one you entered is bad luck.
  • Lift your feet up when driving over railroad tracks for good luck.
  • Never begin a task on a Friday that you can’t finish that week, or expect ill.
  • Never invite a door knocker to come in without seeing who is there first. It might be an evil spirit.
  • Never say “thank you” when someone gives you a plant or it will die.
  • Never shut a pocket knife someone else opened, they must shut it themselves
  • Never tickle a baby’s feet because it will make it stutter.
  • Our fate is written in the stars
  • Place old baby shoes in the attic to prevent witches from stealing babies. The witches are confused by the odour and take the shoes instead.
  • Placing a hat on a table is bad luck.
  • Placing a hat on the bed is bad luck.
  • Placing keys on a table means bad luck.
  • Plaster or stone lions or dragons at the foot of stairs will frighten away demons.
  • Play with fire and you will pee in the bed that night.
  • Put a pair of open scissors under your pillow for good luck and to keep away evil spirits
  • Putting a line of salt across all enterances to your house will stop all evil from coming in.
  • See a ‘ghost’ of yourself, you will soon die.
  • Share a pillow with a dog, and you will have the same dreams.
  • Smell dandelions, wet the bed
  • Spikes should be placed at the ends of the gable of a house to prevent witches landing on the roof. This is the origin of the finials seen on the gable ends of older houses, they were originally not meant as decoration.
  • Step on a crack, break your mother’s back
  • The number of fogs in August predict the number of snow storms the following winter.
  • The wedding veil protects the bride from the evil eye
  • To break a mirror will bring you seven years bad luck
  • To cure a sty, rub it with a gold wedding band
  • To drop a dishcloth means bad luck is coming
  • To drop a fork means a woman will visit
  • To drop a knife means a man will visit
  • To drop a spoon means a child will visit
  • To find a four-leaf clover is to find good luck
  • To find a horseshoe brings good luck
  • To find a penny heads up, brings good luck
  • To give someone a purse or wallet without money in it will bring that person bad luck
  • To have a wish come true using a wishbone, two people make a wish, then take hold of each end of the bone and pull it until it separates. The person with the longer end gets his or her wish
  • To kill an albatross is to cause bad luck to the ship and all upon it
  • To make a happy marriage, the bride must wear: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue
  • To open an umbrella in the house is to bring bad luck
  • To refuse a kiss under mistletoe causes bad luck
  • Toads cause warts
  • Two deaths in the community will be followed by a third.
  • walking past a pole with someone it is bad luck to split up & each go around on different sides of it.
  • Walking with one shoe on & one shoe off will make you have some kind of leg or foot problem one day
  • Warm hands, cold heart
  • Washing a car will bring rain
  • Wearing an opal when it is not your birthstone is bad luck
  • Wearing your birthstone will bring you good luck
  • When a dog howls, death is near
  • When chimney smoke goes to the ground, bad weather will follow.
  • When leaves on trees turn up, a storm is coming.
  • When someone dies in a house cover up all the mirrors or their ghost will get trapped.
  • When you hang a horse shoe on the wall, never hang it facing down or all the luck will run out of it.
  • When you peel an apple say the alphabet and the letter that you are on when the peel breaks is the initial of the person that you will marry.
  • When you speak of good luck, always knock on wood.
  • When your palm itches, you will come into some money.
  • While trying to conceive a baby; for a boy put a knife between the mattresses, for a girl put a frying pan under your bed.
  • Wild birds inside the house are considered bad luck.
  • You can break a bad luck spell by turning seven times in a clockwise circle
  • You must get out of bed on the same side you got in on or you will have bad luck

I personally have good luck on Friday the 13th so I wish you a day filled with lucky events and circumstances.

🙂 MRS N 🙂

Three Quotes/Three Days Challenge Day One #bloggers #quotes


My fellow blogger, Kevin Cooper, thought it would be fun to tag me on this challenge. I was horrified delighted at first and my brain went to sleep came up with some fantastic ideas.

The rules are pretty simple. Do a quote per day for three days and tag three people each day to take part.

Today’s quote is from Spongebob himself:

spongebob

The three lucky bloggers I’ve nominated are:

Charles Yallowitz

Nicholas Rossis

Barb Caffrey

Until tomorrow, laugh and the whole world laughs with you!

MRS N

#BookReview: Remy’s Dilemma by @A_Snook #books #CanadianFiction #Humor


Remy'sDilemma_AndrewSnook copy

Title: Remy’s Dilemma

Author: Andrew Snook

Genre: Adventure/Humour, Canadian

Book Blurb:

The world is coming to an end. That’s what Remy Dilemma believes, anyways. While double-checking his lifelong to-do list to ensure he has led a rich life, he realizes he hasn’t come close to completing his goals. Panicked and short on time, Remy embarks on a chaotic road trip to complete the most important item on his bucket list – finding the answer to man’s greatest question. There’s just one problem. Detective Tobias Gray, the most respected criminal profiler in the Toronto Police Department, thinks Remy is a serial killer; and he’s not the only one who has come to that conclusion. Armed with a green crayon, smiley-faced stamp and a pack of cigarettes in a race against time, the story’s main character, Remy, carves a path of hilarious destruction, baffling and infuriating the police, his government and every other person he encounters.

My Review:

I love road trip books and this one is unlike anything I have ever read before. I must preface this by saying the following: If you are Canadian or have spent any time up here in the Great White North, you have to read this book! The author created a world in the not-too-distant future that is hilarious and you’ll laugh your butt off.

Remy wakes up to hear the world is ending from none other than the Prime Minister. Before panic sets in, Remy grabs his life goals check-list (wrote it in the 4th grade) and sets out to answer man’s ultimate question. First, he gets a car then he goes on the ultimate Canadian road trip where anything can happen (and does to Remy).

Remy’s Dilemma is filled with Canadian hijinks and the funniest parts are when the police and FBI are on a manhunt to capture a deadly serial killer. Yup, they think it’s Remy. I laughed out loud in several places and sometimes rolled my eyes at Remy’s innocence.

The only part I didn’t like was that it ended abruptly. I know this is a trend in books right now but it’s a pet peeve of mine as a reader. I’m hoping Mr. Snook has a sequel lined up soon.

Humor is tricky in literature but Remy’s Dilemma delivers rib-tickling humor/satire in the same vein as Canadian comic Steve Smith (aka Red Green). Do yourself a favor and pick up this book. You’re in for a fun time.

Favorite Character:

Remy. While he is quite possibly the most obtuse character I have ever encountered, he has an innocence about him that I found endearing. He meets a woman who kicks his ass more than once and in his mind, she’s utterly in love with him. * shakes head *

Favorite Quote:

“Waking up at random hours in a daze has never been a conflict for me since I don’t believe it’s necessary to have steady employment.”

 

My Rating: 4 stars

 

Buy Links:

 

Amazon Kindle:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VLIH45E/?tag=friesenpressc-20

Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-CA/ebook/remy-s-dilemma-1

iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/remys-dilemma/id983046558?mt=11

Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/search?q=9781460262771&c=books

Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Remy’s%20Dilemma%22-FriesenPress?store=ebook

FriesenPress (best deal for print version): http://www.friesenpress.com/bookstore/title/119734000015221192/Andrew-Snook-Remy%27s-Dilemma

Andrew Snook

Author Biography:

Age: 37

Born in Montreal, Quebec. Currently living in Mississauga, Ontario. Also lived in Wolfville, Nova Scotia, Carleton Place, Ontario, and Kanata, Ontario. Married with two children.

Social Media Links:

Author website and blog: www.snookbooks.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/a_snook @a_snook

Guest Post: How the Little Things Inspire Us by @A_Snook #books #humor #inspiration


How the Little Things Inspire Us: A Guest Post by Andrew Snook

Some people say it’s the littlest things that kill. Personally, I think the littlest things can act as inspiration for creating fun fiction. I’ve often found myself inspired by the smallest, most trivial experiences. One that comes to mind is a restroom stop I made more than a decade ago at the Cobequid Pass Toll Station off Highway 104 in Nova Scotia.

More than a decade ago I was driving with my father from Wolfville, Nova Scotia to Mississauga, Ontario after my first semester at Acadia University.

On the way to Wolfville, my father and I drove past one too many rest stops and ended up in a “pee-mergency” on Highway 104. We were both desperate for a bathroom break so we stopped at the next place with a bathroom, Cobequid Pass Toll Station – not that we had a choice, you had to stop to pay the toll.

DSC_0482 copy

I remember the mad scramble as we parked my old, decrepit Ford Taurus, jumped out the car and starting our respective pee-pee dances towards the restroom. To our horror, there were three other people in front of us – all doing dances of their own.

We waited close to 20 minutes before the door to the restroom opened, and when it did, I almost wished it didn’t. A foul stench slapped us in the face as an elderly gentleman exited the room looking quite satisfied.

The man at the front of the line hurried inside the restroom and did his business in a timely fashion, as did the next two. When we got to the front of the line I rushed inside, held my breath and let loose. As I relieved myself, I realized I was standing in a puddle of urine left by one of the people before me. Mixed feeling washed over me once I finished. I was happy to longer worry about my bladder bursting, but a little peeved at the lack of aim displayed in the restroom.

This story is far from unique. I’m sure similar situations have happened to almost everyone at one time or another – maybe not on a toll road, but definitely somewhere. I’m also certain that I’ve had similar situations occur at least a few times before my stop on the Cobequid Pass and a few times since then. But for whatever reason, this particular experience stuck with me. And about six months later when I was back living in Wolfville working on my first novella, which I re-wrote years later into Remy’s Dilemma, I remembered the toll station. I ended up using my trivial experience at that rest stop as my inspiration for a handful of silly scenarios in my book.

So next time you find yourself annoyed that you’re stuck doing a mundane task or in a slightly annoying situation, just remember, it might make for some fun fiction down the road.

Andrew Snook

Andrew Snook is the author of Remy’s Dilemma, available in print and digital versions on Amazon, Kobo, iBooks and more. For more information on Andrew or his book, visit www.snookbooks.com. He can be followed on Twitter @a_snook.

Friday Humor: Cancel Credit Cards Prior to Death #funny #bank #creditcards


This is hilarious!!! 🙂 MRS N

Note to self: ‘Cancel credit cards prior to death! 

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die!
This is so priceless and so easy to see happening – customer service, being what it is today! 

 

A lady died this past January, and the Royal Bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and
Then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had
Been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00. 

 

A family member placed a call to the Royal Bank:

Family Member:
‘I am calling to tell you that she died in January.’

Royal Bank:
‘The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.’

Family Member:
‘Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.’

Royal Bank:
‘Since it is two months past due, it already has been..’

Family Member:
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?’

Royal Bank PAC:
‘Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to
The credit bureau, maybe both!’

Family Member:
‘Do you think God will be mad at her?’

Royal Bank:
‘Excuse me?’

Family Member:
‘Did you just get what I was telling you . . . The part about her
Being dead?’

Royal Bank:
‘Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.’

Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member:
‘I’m calling to tell you, she died in January.’

Royal Bank:

‘The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.’

Family Member:
‘You mean you want to collect from her estate?’

Royal Bank:
(Stammer) ‘Are you her lawyer?’

Family Member:
‘No, I’m her great nephew.’
(Lawyer info given)

Royal Bank:
‘Could you fax us a certificate of death?’

Family Member:
‘Sure.’
fax number is given 

 

After they get the fax:

Royal Bank:
‘Our system just isn’t set up for death. I don’t know what more I
Can do to help.’

Family Member:
‘Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing Her. I don’t think she will care.’

Royal Bank :
‘Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.’

Family Member:
‘Would you like her new billing address?’

Royal Bank:
‘That might help.’

Family Member:
‘ Rookwood Memorial Cemetery , 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney Plot Number
1049.’

Royal Bank:
‘Sir, that’s a cemetery!’

Family Member: 
‘Well, WTF do you do with dead people on your planet?’……..

I’d Like To Introduce You To… @a_snook #AuthorInterview #Humor #books


A few weeks back, I did a Friday Book Round-Up on Road Trips. One of the books I featured was Remy’s Dilemma and the author Andrew Snook (such a cool name) contacted me. He agreed to sit down for an interview. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the blog Andrew Snook. Take it away, Andrew:

Have you always liked to write?

 

Yes, although I forgot how much I enjoyed it for a long time. One of my favourite activities growing up was writing silly short adventure stories that starred my classmates. At one point when I was 13, I even made a board game complete with a 20-pg. instruction manual that was based on a series of stories I wrote during out creative writing classes. I stopped writing fiction for a little over a decade before picking it back up while living alone in Nova Scotia in my mid-20s. It was there a rekindled my passion for writing and created two rough novellas. Those novellas formed the skeleton for Remy’s Dilemma.

What writing advice do you have for other aspiring authors?

 

If you want to get your book finished put every other hobby you enjoy on hold – unless you have oodles of free time, then by all means have at them! I am married to an amazing woman and we have two beautiful children, but balancing my days between spending quality time with my wife and my kids, working full-time and taking care of our home doesn’t leave a lot of time for writing and editing books, let alone all the other factors that are involved in the book publishing process when you are an independent – marketing, sourcing production, website maintenance, etc. To complete my first book from beginning to end, I would wake up when everyone else was asleep (usually 5 or 6 a.m.) on my days off and get a few hours of writing and editing in, or I would write while I was on the road for work during my free time. Utilizing every spare minute I had was the only way I could complete the book, and I imagine there are a lot of people in similar situations.

If you didn’t like writing books, what would you do for a living?

 

Writing novels would definitely be my dream job. But if I had to choose a back-up dream job, it would probably be designing board games.

What is your least favorite part of the publishing /writing process?

 

Sales and marketing, but it’s got to be done.

Do you have a favorite spot to write? What is it?

I prefer to write on the road, preferably on trains. There’s something about riding the rails that gets my creativity flowing. I would love to ride a train across Canada, banging away on my keyboard while taking in all the beautiful scenery the country has to offer.

Do you write naked?

Only when I’m not wearing any clothes.

Do you drink? Smoke? What’s your vice?

Coffee, coffee and more coffee. I smoked for about a decade and found that easier to give up then my sweet, sweet coffee. Love you, baby!

What do you want your tombstone to say?

Room for rent.

What secret talents do you have?

You’d have to ask my wife. Giggity-giggity! On second thought, she might not agree. Let’s forget about asking her and just take my word for it. Next question!

Do you have any scars? What are they from?

A bunch. I have 13 stitches on my left cheek from walking into swing made from welded metal pipes as a child. I also have a scar on my right palm from cutting it while packing metal rods for an oven factory in my early 20s and another on my left hand from accidently getting a Christmas tree light stuck in my hand as a teenager – that one was messy!

Remy'sDilemma_AndrewSnook copy

Book Title: Remy’s Dilemma

Author: Andrew Snook

Genre: Adventure/Humour, Canadian

Book Blurb:

 

 

The world is coming to an end. That’s what Remy Dilemma believes, anyways. While double-checking his lifelong to-do list to ensure he has led a rich life, he realizes he hasn’t come close to completing his goals. Panicked and short on time, Remy embarks on a chaotic road trip to complete the most important item on his bucket list – finding the answer to man’s greatest question. There’s just one problem. Detective Tobias Gray, the most respected criminal profiler in the Toronto Police Department, thinks Remy is a serial killer; and he’s not the only one who has come to that conclusion. Armed with a green crayon, smiley-faced stamp and a pack of cigarettes in a race against time, the story’s main character, Remy, carves a path of hilarious destruction, baffling and infuriating the police, his government and every other person he encounters.

Exclusive Excerpt:

It started with a dream, or at least what I thought was a dream. I know now it was a premonition, a sneak peek into the destruction of my world. It appeared in the form of a powerful whisper across the airwaves. The voice, humanity’s reaper, was hidden deep inside the hollowed belly of a rocky beast in Colorado. As it spoke, our time on this planet was given an expiration date.

“My fellow Glamericans, we are under attack from the terrorist organization known as Nations Against Glomitrox. Several nations with direct ties to N.A.G. have begun fuelling weapons of mass destruction, which they intend to fire on our country if I do not surrender myself for alleged crimes against humanity. Do not believe their propaganda.

“Our nuclear strikes on Paris, Moscow, Hong Kong, Tokyo, Berlin and Rome were pre-emptive strikes meant to protect the Glamerican people. We were completely within our rights to defend our homeland — especially after the underhanded assault on the City of Regina by unknown assailants that claimed thousands of lives. This unwarranted aggression will not go unchecked.

“Any nation that supports the terrorist activities of N.A.G. should consider this broadcast a final warning. Glamerica demands that all countries cease any plans for hostile actions against our fine state, or we will have no choice but to launch a full nuclear strike on all non-Glamerican soil.

“Any Glamericans trained on how to survive a nuclear strike are to go door-to-door immediately and show their fellow citizens how to properly hide under a desk.

“This is Prime Minister Harper Day signing off. Good night and Glam bless.”

I sat up and sprang from my bed, drenched in perspiration from the combination of my dream and the hot, humid July night. My chest felt tight, making it hard to breathe. My heart was racing. I ran outside onto my balcony for some fresh air. Pulling a cigarette from a pack of Cats that had been sitting on my windowsill, I took a few puffs and began to calm down.

I took a moment to check out my view of Mississauga’s east end, which was comprised of nothing but other old, run-down highrise apartment buildings and abandoned factories. This area of the city has seen better days.

Remembering my dream, I snapped back into a panic, dropped my cigarette, and ran to my bedroom closet…

Buy Links:

 

Amazon Kindle:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VLIH45E/?tag=friesenpressc-20

Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-CA/ebook/remy-s-dilemma-1

iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/remys-dilemma/id983046558?mt=11

Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/search?q=9781460262771&c=books

Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Remy’s%20Dilemma%22-FriesenPress?store=ebook

FriesenPress (best deal for print version): http://www.friesenpress.com/bookstore/title/119734000015221192/Andrew-Snook-Remy%27s-Dilemma

Author photo

Author Biography:

Age: 37

Born in Montreal, Quebec. Currently living in Mississauga, Ontario. Also lived in Wolfville, Nova Scotia, Carleton Place, Ontario, and Kanata, Ontario. Married with two children.

Social Media Links:

 

Author website and blog: www.snookbooks.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/a_snook @a_snook

Laughter is Good Medicine #AprilFoolsDay #laughter #inspiration


laughter

I’m a big proponent of laughing! In fact, I highly recommend it. It works wonders and is clearly the best medicine.

Today is April Fool’s Day and while I don’t participate in practical jokes, I love to laugh! So in spirit of the day, here are few seasonal jokes to make you laugh:

Q: Can February March? A: No, but April May!

Q: Why is everyone so tired on April 1? A: Because they’ve just finished a long, 31 day March!

Q: What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A: A hot cross bunny

Spring Fever: Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.

Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.”

Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?”

Jokes Source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/weatherjokes/springjokes.html

Laugh, be merry and smile! Today and every day!

😀 MRS N 😀

A Funny Writers Club Dilemma


Writer Club CartoonA dilemma of the worst kind! 😉

A little writing humor to get your through today!

MRS N 🙂

Writers Humor: Snoopy’s Reaction to Rejection


Snoopy Rejection Slip

Don’t we all wish we could do the same??? 😉